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Sexy Isn’t a Costume

Every girl that has hit puberty has dressed as a “sexy” something at least once on Halloween. Maybe you were a “sexy” tampon, “sexy” highlighter or a stack of “sexy” pancakes—yes, the costume industry is getting really creative—but I assure you it was not sexy.

halloween sexy

I have five reasons why you thought you were being sexy and why you completely missed the mark:

1. Freezing isn’t sexy. It’s almost November and last time I checked, shivering was not sexy. Those freakishly intense goose bumps you have all over your thighs could be a symptom of a disease. People would be complimenting your creative, “sexy” Pope costume if they weren’t suggesting that you Web MD your wild goose bumps. Let’s say you did bring your giant coat just in case. You thought you were being super smart weren’t you? Well, you didn’t even wear it! You were too desperate to show off your super sexy costume, so you ended up holding your giant coat all night which turned out to be a huge burden.

2. Complaining isn’t sexy. Obviously, you were complaining about how cold you were or how annoying it was to hold your jacket you should’ve been wearing. You were mad that your opaque tights weren’t keeping you warm. Yea, those stupid tights—it’s definitely not your fault that you wore ass-less chaps and a Read more

When do muscles stop being sexy?

muscles

I was coming down 2nd avenue today and walked past a guy who was totally “jacked.” At first I thought it was fake, as though he was wearing a muscle suit or something. Once I could see it was real, I was too blown away not to take a picture. Good thing he didn’t turn around, I probably would have burst into a fit of nervous laughter, right before bolting. But it got me thinking…when do muscles stop being sexy?

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26
Oct
2013
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