Hey old people, what’s the deal with moth balls?
I was having tea at the St. Regis yesterday and ended up sitting next to an elderly couple. I watched them interact for a few moments before my guest arrived. They seemed really sweet, and I’d guess they have been together for 50 years or more. I hope all of us are that lucky! When my friend finally showed, I meant to move my attention away from them; however, I couldn’t ignore the pungent scent of moth balls coming from the husband. It was brutal!
It made me wonder why it is that so many old people use moth balls for their clothing. Do they realize how nasty it smells? At what age does the brain start sending messages that it’d be a great idea to drop these repugnant nuggets into your sweater drawer? Is there a secret moth ball agency that blackmails old people into using them? Or are there special health benefits to using them that I’m not aware of?
Maybe it’s because after a certain age their senses shut down, and everyone around them (spouse, friends, etc) can’t smell it either. Maybe they can’t smell much of anything anymore? That would explain why you’ll sometimes hear old people farting unapologetically in public. “If I can’t smell it, then the hell with everyone else!”
You would think their kids and grandkids would tell them. Maybe they don’t have the heart to. I certainly didn’t dream of saying anything to the sweet couple next to me. So how do we cure this unfortunate and funky problem afflicting our senior stink-makers? Social media won’t work; most of them don’t use the internet. Maybe we can find out a way to ban moth balls altogether? I mean really, do we need moth balls in our society? If the elderly don’t care to hold their farts in public, they certainly shouldn’t care if they have a few holes in their cardigan. Let’s make 2014 the year we end moth ball atrocities!!