Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Kids and Happy Marriages
About an hour ago, at 9 AM, I went for a little walk to the Green Bean to get my interns some organic vegan muffins (they are so delicious!) On the way, I must have heard about five different kids screaming for one reason or another. Now, I know that having (or not having, rather) kids is a delicate subject. But here’s the thing: I think I would be a lot happier being childless. I like my life how it is. I don’t want it to change. My marriage is a happy one, and I don’t usually subscribe to this philosophy, but if it ain’t broke, why fix it?
Don’t get me wrong — I wanted kids until I was 30. Then I realized that I live in NYC where marriage-minded men are scarce, and marriage-minded men that would click with me (I may be easy to get along with, but let’s be real – I’m a strong woman) and my values and genuinely love me felt like finding a needle on an island of haystacks. So I started thinking: what would I do if I didn’t meet my soul mate? So being 30 and single in NYC forced be to evaluate my life. What did I really want, and how did I know that’s what I really want? And most importantly: why do I want that?
What I came up with is this: I feel fulfilled by my career, helping others, and travel (nowadays I’d say spending time with my hubby is #1). If I want a career and travel, it would be a lot easier not having kids. If I want to help others, I’m better off trying to help thousands instead of one. And if I want a successful marriage, chances are we’ll be more solid without kids because we can spend more time relaxing and traveling together, and will have less things to stress us out (like $65k/year NYC preschool tuitions )
But back to this morning… so I was walking back to the office and Matt Damon jogged past me in a royal blue running suit. Yeah, that Matt Damon. He lives on the Upper East Side, so not really surprising, I suppose. He glanced at me as he passed, and glanced away quickly. It made me remember another incident that I forgot to blog about, from a few weeks ago. I was walking up 5th Ave after getting off the plane from Toronto, to meet my hubby at the Fendi store for a HousingWorks fundraiser (Mike is on the board), and I walked past Chris Rock. I thought he must be single because he checked me out like I’ve never been checked out before. Like full head swivel. I looked back about 20 feet past him because I couldn’t believe what just happened, and he was standing there staring at me with that Chris Rock grin. When I told Mike what just happened, he mentioned that Chris Rock is married.
It’s nice to see someone as famous/successful/etc as Matt Damon acting with integrity. We hear plenty of the Chris Rock stories, but there are a lot of Matt Damon stories too. The good news is, there are a lot of great guys out there — the hard part is finding one that “works” for you. With time, patience, and a little luck, everyone can find the right guy/gal for them.
My guess is that there’s a lot of truth to his jest (but it’s pretty much the opposite of my marriage):
This is a hilarious bit about what it’s supposedly like to have kids: