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Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Kids and Happy Marriages

About an hour ago, at 9 AM, I went for a little walk to the Green Bean to get my interns some organic vegan muffins (they are so delicious!) On the way, I must have heard about five different kids screaming for one reason or another. Now, I know that having (or not having, rather) kids is a delicate subject. But here’s the thing: I think I would be a lot happier being childless. I like my life how it is. I don’t want it to change. My marriage is a happy one, and I don’t usually subscribe to this philosophy, but if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

Don’t get me wrong — I wanted kids until I was 30. Then I realized that I live in NYC where marriage-minded men are scarce, and marriage-minded men that would click with me (I may be easy to get along with, but let’s be real – I’m a strong woman) and my values and genuinely love me felt like finding a needle on an island of haystacks. So I started thinking: what would I do if I didn’t meet my soul mate? So being 30 and single in NYC forced be to evaluate my life. What did I really want, and how did I know that’s what I really want? And most importantly: why do I want that?

What I came up with is this: I feel fulfilled by my career, helping others, and travel (nowadays I’d say spending time with my hubby is #1). If I want a career and travel, it would be a lot easier not having kids. If I want to help others, I’m better off trying to help thousands instead of one. And if I want a successful marriage, chances are we’ll be more solid without kids because we can spend more time relaxing and traveling together, and will have less things to stress us out (like $65k/year NYC preschool tuitions )

But back to this morning… so I was walking back to the office and Matt Damon jogged past me in a royal blue running suit. Yeah, that Matt Damon. He lives on the Upper East Side, so not really surprising, I suppose. He glanced at me as he passed, and glanced away quickly. It made me remember another incident that I forgot to blog about, from a few weeks ago. I was walking up 5th Ave after getting off the plane from Toronto, to meet my hubby at the Fendi store for a HousingWorks fundraiser (Mike is on the board), and I walked past Chris Rock. I thought he must be single because he checked me out like I’ve never been checked out before. Like full head swivel. I looked back about 20 feet past him because I couldn’t believe what just happened, and he was standing there staring at me with that Chris Rock grin. When I told Mike what just happened, he mentioned that Chris Rock is married.

It’s nice to see someone as famous/successful/etc as Matt Damon acting with integrity. We hear plenty of the Chris Rock stories, but there are a lot of Matt Damon stories too. The good news is, there are a lot of great guys out there — the hard part is finding one that “works” for you. With time, patience, and a little luck, everyone can find the right guy/gal for them.

Love, Hilary

—-

My guess is that there’s a lot of truth to his jest (but it’s pretty much the opposite of my marriage):

 

This is a hilarious bit about what it’s supposedly like to have kids:

12 comments
Andre Archimbaud via Facebook
Andre Archimbaud via Facebook

I would argue that just because Chris checked you out, doesn't mean he's not a good guy & a good father. I also don't think that two run-ins does a rule make. I do get it, though.

Andre Archimbaud
Andre Archimbaud

I would argue that just because Chris checked you out, doesn't mean he's not a good guy & a good father. I also don't think that two run-ins does a rule make. I do get it, though.

Chloe Ambrosia Miller
Chloe Ambrosia Miller

Louis CK is hilarious - but this video must have offended a lot of people! LOL

Sarah Woodstock
Sarah Woodstock

Hilarious videos! And I so feel you with the kids thing. Why does everyone think it's a foregone conclusion?

Rebecca Ariane Givens
Rebecca Ariane Givens

I, personally, have always wanted kids. Not really sure why though. Maybe I should think about it! Chris Rock seems super jaded and cynical. Do you think that players can change if they fall in love? Or do they end up like Chris Rock?

Scott Lauer
Scott Lauer

Your kids are your kids. They see and look at things that make your life much fuller than it was before. And you can expand your values in them.

Beverly Lauer
Beverly Lauer

I smile as unread this- I didn't have kids until my mid thirties . Kids are a huge blessing and a lot of work . The cool thing now is that I can take them with me to see where they can get involved in the world . But each has his own path ...

Linda Collie
Linda Collie

At 60 now, I only started missing not having children or the idea of having children in my 50's but then I realized I could be a Part time Nanny for You and maybe Simon someday.....You and Mike would be amazing parents and the world would be a better place with your offspring so perhaps in a few years you will consider blessing us with a baby or not, either way you are a BLESSING, Hilary.

Elan Raday
Elan Raday

i give it a year or two till you're preggers. Hang in there Christine.

Christine Collie Rowland
Christine Collie Rowland

I still hope you'll change your mind about the kids part... Having you and Simon was the best thing I (with the help of your Dad) have ever done.

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