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How to Overcome Haters

Over the years, I’ve come to the realization that, if you stand out in some way, having haters is inevitable. There are people out there who approach others with love and benefit of the doubt, and there are people out there who snap to judge, like to put people in boxes, and have very little empathy. That’s just how the world is. If you don’t fit in, there are people out there who will notice and decide they hate you without even giving you a chance — without even having met you.

Years ago, a slimy online tabloid wrote some stuff about me that wasn’t based on reality. In fact, the three writers were all based in San Francisco and had never met me, nor had they talked to any of my friends. They still found me fair game to write about, and since they didn’t know me from Adam, and didn’t have any actual context, they made stuff up, including supposed encounters, which I know for a fact I never had. For example, they said that I was at a cocktail party and kept talking about my career, starting from the beginning each time someone new came into the group I was fictitiously talking to.

Now, if they’d ever met me or talked to any of my friends, they’d know that Read more

Weekend Getaway in Vermont

I woke up this morning wishing I was still at the Windham Hill Inn. We spent the past weekend at this charming Vermont B&B, and felt as if we were a thousand miles from home.

Me being a little camera-happy, and Mike looking very comfy...

Me being a little camera-happy, and Mike looking very comfy…

Luckily, a reader suggested I start doing videos, and I took his advice, so I can re-live the Windham Hill Inn experience a little bit. Let me know what you think of my first video, and if you have suggestions for me:

Me, about 10 minutes after waking / rolling out of bed and heading straight to breakfast.

Me, about 10 minutes after waking / rolling out of bed and heading straight to breakfast.

Incredible food = Mikey happy :-)

Incredible food = Mikey happy :-)

windham-hill-inn-3

It was very foggy our first day there. The views were breathtaking.

feeding-animals

There is something so nice about getting out of the city and heading into nature. I think it’s easy to lose your connection to what’s “real” if you spend too much time in Manhattan, or any city for that matter. Central Park is wonderful, and one of my favorite places on earth, but there’s nothing quite like packing up the car and driving off for some northern exposure. The air is cleaner, the people are nicer, and all the troubles of the world seem to drift away. I can’t wait for the snow to arrive, so we can head back up for a ski trip with some of our close friends. It’s a great way to bond together. A full day on the mountain, followed by apres ski until everyone passes out. Vermont is officially on my “favorites” list, and I highly recommend you make plans to visit over the winter. It’ll make the brutal cold weather during the next few months something to look forward to…

Read more

5 Steps to Finding Lasting Love in NYC (& Why It’s Been Hard)

I was at a cocktail party on Friday evening with my friend Andrea Syrtash (the real-life Carrie Bradshaw), and had a conversation that echoed what I have discussed with so many friends living in lower Manhattan. The topic: Why it’s hard to find love while living in downtown New York City.

Models getting ready for a video shoot on a New York street

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Your New Secret to Majorly Discounted Shopping

A few days ago, I went to a Gilt event, where Zac Posen had designed a car (apparently, silver is the new cool color for cars). I was standing near him and the pro photographer (Sean Smith) asked if he could take a photo of us together. I said “No way”, of course — JK! Anyhow, Zac and I chatted for a few minutes (he seemed very down to earth and approachable) before the orchestrators at Gilt decided to open the proverbial barn doors and let everyone stampede into the sale area.

hilary rowland with zac posen

Now, you’d expect a Gilt sale to be super amazing, right? I’d imagined racks of designer clothing, in perfect shape, at rock-bottom prices. But no, actually. Read more

5 Free Apps I Love

As my friends know, I’m a huge geek when it comes to apps. I use tons of them, and I’m always on the hunt for the next cool thing. Another favorite pass-time is passing on good information, so here goes:

duolingo1)  Duolingo is a game that will teach you a new language in a really easy-to-learn way, right from your Android, iPhone or tablet. It’s proven to be more effective than learning a language at any college, and it’s free.

NextIssue

2)  Next Issue is basically *all* the mainstream magazines in one place (about 100 titles), plus article interactivity, plus a about 20 back-issues of each title. I cancelled all my paper magazine subscriptions and subscribed to Next Issue instead. Digital magazines are much more fun to look at and interact with, and save paper/rainforest/animals habitats/pollution/etc.  Read more

Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Kids and Happy Marriages

About an hour ago, at 9 AM, I went for a little walk to the Green Bean to get my interns some organic vegan muffins (they are so delicious!) On the way, I must have heard about five different kids screaming for one reason or another. Now, I know that having (or not having, rather) kids is a delicate subject. But here’s the thing: I think I would be a lot happier being childless. I like my life how it is. I don’t want it to change. My marriage is a happy one, and I don’t usually subscribe to this philosophy, but if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

Don’t get me wrong — I wanted kids until I was 30. Then I realized that I live in NYC where marriage-minded men are scarce, and marriage-minded men that would click with me (I may be easy to get along with, but let’s be real – I’m a strong woman) and my values and genuinely love me felt like finding a needle on an island of haystacks. So I started thinking: what would I do if I didn’t meet my soul mate? So being 30 and single in NYC forced be to evaluate my life. What did I really want, and how did I know that’s what I really want? And most importantly: why do I want that?

What I came up with is this: Read more

My 10 Best Bits of Life Advice

advice-teenage

If I could give my younger self some advice, I’d tell her a couple of things:

1. Stay open. Don’t be closed-minded. If someone has a different opinion than you, genuinely listen to it. They might be ill-informed, or they might have different values than yours, or  they might actually modify your opinion on a topic. Either way, part of growing is staying open and keeping your ideas somewhat fluid. That said, if someone says something based on contempt, feel free to tell them to shut the hell up.

2. Don’t take people’s opinions (of issues, politics, other people, etc.) as fact. Ask pointed questions – dig! – to find out what a person really believes. Often, you’ll find that people are just repeating things they’ve heard without really understanding it. For example, if they say they’re “fiscally conservative and socially liberal” ask “why fiscally conservative?” – what specific things do they think the government should cut back on? What social initiatives do you think the government should fund, and why?

Which brings me to: Read more

A Princess and a Party

New York is a magical place. There are very few cities where you can have such diverse, random and wonderful experiences. Thursday night was a perfect example.

Hilary Rowland

We started out the night at Cinderella on Broadway. I wasn’t sure what to expect, after all, I’ve never been a big fan of Disney. Even when I was a child I thought that the concept of being ‘saved’ by marrying a wealthy man was a dangerous message to send out to young girls. So I was happy to see that the modern Cinderella has several twists I didn’t remember… Read more

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